Friday, September 2, 2011

A New Feminine Mystique

Fifty years ago this month, Good Housekeeping published a groundbreaking article, "Women Are People, Too!" by Betty Friedan, which described how many wives and mothers felt depressed and frustrated by their roles.

Read more: Women Are People Too by Betty Friedan - The Feminine Mystique - Good Housekeeping 

While I was in college, I had the privilege of reading Ms. Friedan's book about how women in the 50's felt repressed and wanted more to their life than cooking and cleaning. As I continued reading, I kept thinking to myself, "I wish I could JUST be a wife and mother"!

The original feminist movement of the 50's was about CHOICES.... Women wanted more.... They wanted a chance to achieve higher education.... to join the workforce and add monetary value to their existence,  they wanted the chance to HAVE IT ALL. However, young women today feel more stressed about their roles in society than they ever have. 

Somehow over the years, the CHOICE part of the feminist movement got dropped from the equation. All of a sudden it was no longer a choice to go to college and have an amazing career OR get married and start a family, it was expected that all women should do both. Women are at constant battle with themselves. They are in a race to achieve it ALL before their biological clock runs out. We must be at the top of our class in college, climb the corporate ladder, land a husband, and create babies all before we're 35. Instead of women wishing they "HAVE IT ALL", I think they are now saying "I CAN'T DO IT ALL". Why can't I JUST be a mom/housewife? Why does our society look down on women who choose to take the job they were CREATED for seriously? Why did it become such a bad thing to put all of our love and energy into being help meets for our husbands and the best mother possible to our children?

I met my husband during our freshman year of college, and shortly after I realized this was the man I was going to marry, I knew I had to make a CHOICE. I could continue on my path to becoming an MD, or I could as they say, obtain my MRS degree (as well as my B.S.). For me, I knew that I would not feel comfortable being both a doctor and a mother. My whole life I have felt a calling to be a REAL mom, not one who goes to work every day while some other woman raises my children. As my husband was pursuing his medical career, I knew our family would be delayed for several years, and I would have plenty of time to become a Doctor. However, I couldn't see the point of putting in all of that effort, and taking out all of those student loans to become a Doctor when I would never be able to practice. I knew that as soon as we started our family I would want to be home with my children where God created me to be. So, I decided to support my husband as he went to medical school. I worked 60+ hours a week in a cancer research lab, and babysat every weekend to provide for us. I have certainly received a lot of pressure to go back to school and to accept the views of modern society, but I continue to pray to God, and remind myself that the path I have chosen is the one that my Lord chose for me. I feel so blessed that I have helped my husband obtain a career that will allow me to stay at home full time with our children, (when they come). :)

In recent years, I have noticed more and more women are seeking a return to biblical womanhood, and the traditional roles we were created for. I love all things related to traditional homemaking: Baking, making the perfect dinner, keeping a clean and organized house, doing the special things to keep my husband happy and grateful that he married me, etc. It is my intention to share with you my journey to becoming the wife and mother God created me to be; A help meet to the Good Doctor! 

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